Amy Schumer is Hilarious on ?Ellen?: ?In LA My Arms Register As Legs?

Continuing her climb up the comedy ladder, Amy Schumer showed up at ?The Ellen DeGeneres Show? and had the host literally crying with laughter.

The ?Inside Amy Schumer? babe explained she doesn?t like visiting Los Angeles- "I mean, I don't fit in here. Just straight up body type. Like in L.A., my arms register as legs and it's like, 'Why is that octopus out on Sunset?' It's not for me out here. It's not? I cry. I just sit in my room [bawling]."

Schumer added, "Last time I was here, right from the show, I got courtside tickets to a Laker game. My business agent thought I was mad at him for sexually harassing me. But I'm 33, so I'm just starting to really appreciate that, you know what I mean? It's true! I can't speak for everyone...but in your twenties, you walk past a construction site and you're like, 'Oh, don't look!' But then in your thirties, I'm just like, 'What about this?' It's like my skirt's over my head and I'm like, 'Ahh!' They're like, 'We're eating.' It changes. It really does. So, I got courtside seats...I went and I thought it would be free booze. It's not! It's not! I guess you have to be on the team to get free booze."

And of course, Amy got seated next to Dianna Agron- "She played the cheerleader Quinn. That lets you know how hot she is. She's like the most gorgeous girl ever. Her name was Quinn on that show. To pull of that name...if my name were Quinn on a show, they'd be like, 'Oh, the jolly Irish groundskeeper that does a jig time and again?' Is she not an angel? The whole night she's posing because she knows people are taking pictures of her. I obviously don't! I learned that my resting face is just a scowl. And I learned that have what I now call an 'at-risk chin.' This is not a good section. If I don't keep it at sea level it just doubles itself...I [have] no idea people are taking pictures. I'm pounding red wine. I thought it was great. I get red wine teeth right out the gate, you know? Just the first sniff of merlot. Just True Blood mouth. I look like I've been feeding."

Source: http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/ellen-degeneres-show/schumer-1650170

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